I'm this way because of my parents.
Everybody does it.
I'll save even more money if I buy nine of these.
If we don't finish this second bottle, it will just go bad.
We're all going to die of something.
My wife doesn't understand me.
He's probably cheating on me, too.
I'm not running for "saint."
I do some of my best thinking on the golf course.
I'm only moving the ball to where it should have landed.
If I were in the hospital, I wouldn't want a bunch of people bothering me.
No one will ever know.
I've never been good with authority.
I only smoke at parties. I could quit tomorrow. This is my last one.
After a crummy day like this, I deserve these shoes.
After a great day like this, I should celebrate with these shoes.
With what I saved on this purse, I should buy these shoes.
All this shopping is good for the economy.
I'll do a better job on this if I start tomorrow.
You only live once.
He'll just spend it on liquor.
Skipping one day of exercise isn't going to kill me.
I'm just big-boned.
That's for the one you called "out" last game.
It's not sucking up to the boss if you really mean it.
I'm not trying to win a popularity contest.
I'm eating for two now.
What are the odds of a handicapped person needing this spot while I drop off a video?
It's deductible.
I'm only human.
They pay ushers to clean this stuff up.
My work was never intended for the masses.
I just don't test well.
Einstein had a messy office.
He'll thank me later.
It's not like he's never borrowed something from me and not returned it.
Ice cream is an excellent source of calcium.
This expense sheet makes up for my crappy bonus.
Finders keepers.
I'll be dead by then.
It's the thought that counts.
Nobody died
If God didn't want us to eat baby sheep, he wouldn't have given us mint jelly.
Extracted from:
'Rationalizations to live by' .
Henry Beard, Andy Borowitz and John Boswell
Everybody does it.
I'll save even more money if I buy nine of these.
If we don't finish this second bottle, it will just go bad.
We're all going to die of something.
My wife doesn't understand me.
He's probably cheating on me, too.
I'm not running for "saint."
I do some of my best thinking on the golf course.
I'm only moving the ball to where it should have landed.
If I were in the hospital, I wouldn't want a bunch of people bothering me.
No one will ever know.
I've never been good with authority.
I only smoke at parties. I could quit tomorrow. This is my last one.
After a crummy day like this, I deserve these shoes.
After a great day like this, I should celebrate with these shoes.
With what I saved on this purse, I should buy these shoes.
All this shopping is good for the economy.
I'll do a better job on this if I start tomorrow.
You only live once.
He'll just spend it on liquor.
Skipping one day of exercise isn't going to kill me.
I'm just big-boned.
That's for the one you called "out" last game.
It's not sucking up to the boss if you really mean it.
I'm not trying to win a popularity contest.
I'm eating for two now.
What are the odds of a handicapped person needing this spot while I drop off a video?
It's deductible.
I'm only human.
They pay ushers to clean this stuff up.
My work was never intended for the masses.
I just don't test well.
Einstein had a messy office.
He'll thank me later.
It's not like he's never borrowed something from me and not returned it.
Ice cream is an excellent source of calcium.
This expense sheet makes up for my crappy bonus.
Finders keepers.
I'll be dead by then.
It's the thought that counts.
Nobody died
If God didn't want us to eat baby sheep, he wouldn't have given us mint jelly.
Extracted from:
'Rationalizations to live by' .
Henry Beard, Andy Borowitz and John Boswell
